Bachelor Episode 4 Crazy of the Week | Courtney Robertson

The Bachelor

Oh, I can TOTALLY see how she's a model...

Generally I like to choose someone who really loses their shit on The Bachelor, whether it’s rambling about absolute nonsense, losing their mind in complete hysterics, over-analyzing everything, or getting themselves lost in a deep, dark tunnel of insanity.

And to be honest, The Bachelor rarely disappoints. But episode 4 brought us a whole new brand of crazy, as the ever-present Courtney Robertson unleashed full-blown bitch mode WHILE also putting her man-manipulating skills and ability to break other people down in an instant on full display.

And while she wasn’t a big hot mess, crying and sobbing herself to sleep with a wine glass in hand, she did hold a wine glass pretty much the entire night, and she did qualify for our Crazy of the Week.

Courtney has been no stranger to sny remarks, cold taunts, and rubbing roses in the other girls’ faces. But she took it to a whole new level this week when she told the camera she was going to “get a rose”, and then proceeded to literally manipulate Ben into giving her a rose that he admitted was going to go to someone else.

Here’s a quick glimpse of what you would have seen in episode 4. Some of her quotes are just perfect:

I know what you’re thinking – sooner or later you’re going to run out of “crazies” to pick from, as the further this thing goes, our buddy Ben Flajnik will weed out the weakies and keep the smart, beautiful, classy, and well, un-crazy ladies around.

But I’m not so sure.

Ben appears to be head over heels over this whack job, and even when Emily O’Brien tried to tell him straight up (cue Paula Abdul music now) that Courtney is “different around other people than she is around Ben”, he merely tells her talking badly about someone else could ultimately “lead to her own demise”.

Translation: You be trippin’. Don’t tell me the model is a bitch when I totally want her more than anyone else on this show, even though she looks like Russell Brand, talks like an ant eater, is pure evil, conniving, and has broader shoulders than Sylvester Stallone. I like you, we had a great date and conquered the bridge, but you’re just one of my “toppies”. You’ll make it far, but you can’t. touch. the. model. She is sublime and I won’t be convinced otherwise. Don’t fuck this up for me.

Boom. Nailed it.

So, in a sense, Flajnik almost wins joint-crazy of the week, simply because he completely ignored Emily’s cries for sanity – and also the fact that he somehow gets through dates with Courtney, you know, AT ALL.

She is boring as hell. She is Skeletor meets Kate Moss meets Russell Brand meets Richard Simmons meets Vienna (another favorite Bachelor douche)….meets Randy Newman. But I doubt she can play piano.

To sum it up, this is week one of Courtney Robertson raising the Crazy of the Week trophy high above her oblong head, and I do fear that it will not be the last. But dear God, I hope I’m wrong.

Jenna Burke, The Over Analyzer “Is Not a Girl”

The Over Analyzer

There ain't no over analyzing this.

On the second episode of Bachelor 16 we said good-bye to a character that we genuinely hoped and prayed would last until the end – Jenna Burke, The Over Analyzer.

Alas, no ball of crazy wound up this tight ever had a snowball’s chance in hell in getting to episode three. We knew it, but we didn’t want to accept it. In fact, we nearly pulled a Burke and over-analyzed it. But we kept our crazy to ourself, accepted her for who she was, and bid her adieu.

But before we actually wave her off, we must extend a half-assed Bachelor Rant high-five, as Burke gets our first (and only) “Crazy of the Week” award for the second time. In a f-ing ROW!.

Unbelievable, I know, but beyond her getting axed in the second episode without Ben even blinking, she really revved up the crazy mobile in this one. And then took about 20 laps around the track.

Most of you recall Burke’s awkward initial conversation with Ben, which was just bad. And then her theatrics with some of the girls that ensued just pushed her over the top. Don’t get us wrong – we loved it. But she was just too much, and it had to be pointed out.

But it didn’t stop with one episode. No, folks, her craziness was not of the fluky matter. Instead, she had the opportunity of another one-on-one with Ben, and blew it as bad as anyone could have possibly blown it.

Aside from the awkward pauses, awful body language, and tense facial expressions, the only words that meant anything at all that anyone could make out just happened to be…”I’m not a girl”.

Now, we know Burke is a girl. But, well, for a dude filtering through 25 beautiful women and trying to find anything to separate them to make those difficult rose decisions just a tad bit easier, well Jenna, you made that one real easy.

The saddest part is we get the feeling our favorite little Over Analyzer will be thinking about (and over-analyzing) this one for a while.