Dude, Ben Flajnik is Kind of a Dick

Bachelor 16

His face after I called him a dick.

I don’t mean to step on Bachelor toes, but is anyone else seeing a little bit of douche pour on out of our boy, Ben Flajnik?

Don’t get me wrong, the brutal honesty he displayed a the conclusion of the Bachelorette and continued on into the 16th season of The Bachelor is accepted. Hell, it’s appreciated.

From opening up about his dad and whatever is “near and dear to his heart”, to sitting Samantha down a couple episodes and shipping her off because “he didn’t feel it”, you have to respect how the guy doesn’t waste his or anyone else’s time.

But when Emily O’Brien tried for the second time to shows Flajnik how huge of a psychopath his model crush Courtney Robertson is, he simply wouldn’t have it – for the second┬átime.

The first time O’Brien spoke up about Robertson, Ben merely said to watch what she says about other people, or it could “lead to her demise”. This time, he upped the ante.

O’Brien opened their brief one-on-one session together by saying she wanted to focus just on her and Ben, and wouldn’t talk about Courtney anymore. That lasted about five seconds, as she once again opened up about Courtney’s craziness around the girls when she is away from Ben.

Granted, I can see how Ben would be annoyed by Emily talking shit like this, but I think we can all agree Emily isn’t being a desperate douche. She’s simply calling it likes she sees it.

And while we can respect Ben’s defense for Courtney to an extent, his cold words to Emily were not just uncalled for, but they also might have been a little eye-opening.

The phrases “Drop it” and “Tread lightly” come to mind, as Ben was cold and direct when countering Emily’s claims.

I don’t even think I’m trying to be funny in this post, folks. Ben went from likable dude who was honest and genuine, to total model monger with a hatred for the unbridled truth.

He simply does not want to hear that Courtney’s shit stinks.

The trailer for the coming episodes alludes to Ben at least opening up to the possibility┬áthat Courtney isn’t perfect, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

Bachelor 16 Drinking Game | Episode 4

Bachelor 16

Wine is Ben's drink of choice, naturally.

The fourth episode of Bachelor Season 16 is upon us, as Ben Flajnik continues his journey for his wife through a sea of dental hygienists and sales associates.

The good thing is that he already cut a ton of drama and uglies with the three-fold dumping of Shawntel Newton, Erika Uhlig, and Jaclyn Swartz. As depressing as they all were last week and just in general, I find it equally depressing that I remember all three of their names without leaning on tape or past articles. That’s how far my anti-obsession with this show has gone.

However, as eye-opening as my new knowledge is, the best part truly is the fact that you can get drunk and laugh even harder at this show with our new Bachelor Drinking Games. Last week I begged you all to join me in taking a shot or a chug of your favorite brew every time Ben used his coined phrase, “Near and dear to my heart”.

To all of our dismay, he didn’t say the catch phrase ONCE in episode three, after saying it numerous times through the first two weeks. But I’m not giving up.

I encourage you – the boyfriend trying to earn brownie points, the husband with no spine, the friend with nothing better to do – to grab your favorite drink, and have at it again.

This time, we’re not putting all of our eggs in one basket, though. We’ll add one more key phrase to the lot, and see if we can’t pass out on the couch before our lady friend turns on a recorded copy (or seven) of Real Housewives or (cross your ingers) Say Yes to the Dress.

At least it wouldn’t be Gold Rush, right?

But I digress. Obviously we’re rolling with Ben’s favorite line “Near and dear to my heart” this week. Every time he says said phrase, you drink. And then you cross your fingers that he says it again. And again. And again.

And the other phrase to watch for (drumroll)…

Is any phrase involving “the right reasons“. So many of these girls wine and gossip about being there “for Ben” and “for the right reasons”, while complaining that others girls aren’t.

So, sit on the edge of your seat and watch for these phrases. Just make sure you have a drink ready to roll with.

Oh, and while you’re watching, try not thinking of Russell Brand every time you see that Courtney chick. Just think of her with a beard. Now ya got it…

Ben’s Kiss Can Save the World

Bachelor 16

His kiss shall only be used for good...

Ben Flajnik is magical. He’s dreamy. He’s genuine. He is, if you choose to believe it, a real-life damn super hero.

Truth be told, Ben was on a date with Emily O’Brien, which ended up being a nerving jaunt up a bridge. Naturally, Emily was deathly afraid of heights – as was Ben, supposedly – and the two struggled to get to the top.

Editor’s note: the camera angles alone told just about everyone viewing that this climb was no easy task. I almost shat my pants just watching.

But really, it looked pretty frightening and understandably, it looked as though Emily’s dreamy date with Ben would end in embarrassment. But, as Ben put it, with Emily scared out of her mind and the two of them stuck in the middle of the bridge, he did all he could, and kissed her.

From that kiss on, Emily was empowered with the strength of a thousand men, had a whole different kind of “butterflies” and never looked back as she triumphed over the climb to the very tippy top of the bridge. It’s this awesome power of Ben’s kiss that had us thinking: if Ben’s kiss can eliminate a woman’s fear of heights and make her completely forget about the possibility of a certain death-plunge into the water below (or the sea of cars. that, too, would suck.), then what can’t Ben’s kiss do?

Here’s a quick list of some things we have a feeling Ben could solve with just one kiss:

Ben’s kiss could stop another bad Nicolas Cage movie from happening.

Ben’s kiss could add another 13 days to a Kim Kardashian marriage.

Ben’s kiss could make Clay Aiken hot and straight. Possibly still gay, though, too.

Ben’s kiss could make LeBron James clutch in the 4th quarter.

Ben’s kiss could make Nickelback an actually good band.

Ben’s kiss could make Sarah Palin smart.

Ben’s kiss could make Tim Tebow an accurate NFL quarterback.

What else, pray tell, could Ben’s kiss do? The possibilities are endless.