Bachelor Episode 4 Crazy of the Week | Courtney Robertson

The Bachelor

Oh, I can TOTALLY see how she's a model...

Generally I like to choose someone who really loses their shit on The Bachelor, whether it’s rambling about absolute nonsense, losing their mind in complete hysterics, over-analyzing everything, or getting themselves lost in a deep, dark tunnel of insanity.

And to be honest, The Bachelor rarely disappoints. But episode 4 brought us a whole new brand of crazy, as the ever-present Courtney Robertson unleashed full-blown bitch mode WHILE also putting her man-manipulating skills and ability to break other people down in an instant on full display.

And while she wasn’t a big hot mess, crying and sobbing herself to sleep with a wine glass in hand, she did hold a wine glass pretty much the entire night, and she did qualify for our Crazy of the Week.

Courtney has been no stranger to sny remarks, cold taunts, and rubbing roses in the other girls’ faces. But she took it to a whole new level this week when she told the camera she was going to “get a rose”, and then proceeded to literally manipulate Ben into giving her a rose that he admitted was going to go to someone else.

Here’s a quick glimpse of what you would have seen in episode 4. Some of her quotes are just perfect:

I know what you’re thinking – sooner or later you’re going to run out of “crazies” to pick from, as the further this thing goes, our buddy Ben Flajnik will weed out the weakies and keep the smart, beautiful, classy, and well, un-crazy ladies around.

But I’m not so sure.

Ben appears to be head over heels over this whack job, and even when Emily O’Brien tried to tell him straight up (cue Paula Abdul music now) that Courtney is “different around other people than she is around Ben”, he merely tells her talking badly about someone else could ultimately “lead to her own demise”.

Translation: You be trippin’. Don’t tell me the model is a bitch when I totally want her more than anyone else on this show, even though she looks like Russell Brand, talks like an ant eater, is pure evil, conniving, and has broader shoulders than Sylvester Stallone. I like you, we had a great date and conquered the bridge, but you’re just one of my “toppies”. You’ll make it far, but you can’t. touch. the. model. She is sublime and I won’t be convinced otherwise. Don’t fuck this up for me.

Boom. Nailed it.

So, in a sense, Flajnik almost wins joint-crazy of the week, simply because he completely ignored Emily’s cries for sanity – and also the fact that he somehow gets through dates with Courtney, you know, AT ALL.

She is boring as hell. She is Skeletor meets Kate Moss meets Russell Brand meets Richard Simmons meets Vienna (another favorite Bachelor douche)….meets Randy Newman. But I doubt she can play piano.

To sum it up, this is week one of Courtney Robertson raising the Crazy of the Week trophy high above her oblong head, and I do fear that it will not be the last. But dear God, I hope I’m wrong.

Bachelor 16 Drinking Game | Episode 4

Bachelor 16

Wine is Ben's drink of choice, naturally.

The fourth episode of Bachelor Season 16 is upon us, as Ben Flajnik continues his journey for his wife through a sea of dental hygienists and sales associates.

The good thing is that he already cut a ton of drama and uglies with the three-fold dumping of Shawntel Newton, Erika Uhlig, and Jaclyn Swartz. As depressing as they all were last week and just in general, I find it equally depressing that I remember all three of their names without leaning on tape or past articles. That’s how far my anti-obsession with this show has gone.

However, as eye-opening as my new knowledge is, the best part truly is the fact that you can get drunk and laugh even harder at this show with our new Bachelor Drinking Games. Last week I begged you all to join me in taking a shot or a chug of your favorite brew every time Ben used his coined phrase, “Near and dear to my heart”.

To all of our dismay, he didn’t say the catch phrase ONCE in episode three, after saying it numerous times through the first two weeks. But I’m not giving up.

I encourage you – the boyfriend trying to earn brownie points, the husband with no spine, the friend with nothing better to do – to grab your favorite drink, and have at it again.

This time, we’re not putting all of our eggs in one basket, though. We’ll add one more key phrase to the lot, and see if we can’t pass out on the couch before our lady friend turns on a recorded copy (or seven) of Real Housewives or (cross your ingers) Say Yes to the Dress.

At least it wouldn’t be Gold Rush, right?

But I digress. Obviously we’re rolling with Ben’s favorite line “Near and dear to my heart” this week. Every time he says said phrase, you drink. And then you cross your fingers that he says it again. And again. And again.

And the other phrase to watch for (drumroll)…

Is any phrase involving “the right reasons“. So many of these girls wine and gossip about being there “for Ben” and “for the right reasons”, while complaining that others girls aren’t.

So, sit on the edge of your seat and watch for these phrases. Just make sure you have a drink ready to roll with.

Oh, and while you’re watching, try not thinking of Russell Brand every time you see that Courtney chick. Just think of her with a beard. Now ya got it…

The Bachelor’s Courtney Robertson Looks Like Russell Brand

Bachelor 16

It's all in the eyes, really.

Obviously it’s just a joke, but with Russell Brand and Katy Perry no longer an item, it wouldn’t be completely off base for the brit star to try going after a new “partner” this early, would it?

I didn’t think so, either. While there’s no way Russell Brand and Bachelor 16 “model” Courtney Robertson are the same person or even the same sex, the similarities are striking.

Here’s a picture of the girl in question, Courtney. See if you don’t see what we’re seeing:

Russell Brand look a like

The female Russell Brand, folks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Think we nailed it or are way off base? Comment below. Got another Bachelor 16 look-a-like? Let us know!