Bachelor Episode 3 Mystery Girl is Shawntel Newton, and Nobody Cares


Yes, she's as boring as she looks.

That chick in the red dress that ABC wouldn’t show you in episode three trailers, you know, the one with the question mark on her face in articles all across the internet – yeah, that was Shawntel Newton.

I know, I don’t care either, but if you wanted some useless info, she was on Bachelor 15 with Brad and is/was a funeral director. Awesome gig, and mad props for her making it onto two Bachelor seasons (in a row, mind you), but I still don’t truly know who she is, or really give a shit about her.

Still, it was at least mildly disappointing to see her leave before she ever truly came. That’s right, ABC hyped us up like they always do – a big, dramatic tease – only for the genuine Ben to make the right call, and send Brad’s sloppy seconds back home to go take care of some dead people.

I don’t know what’s more depressing, appearing on two bullshit “reality” love shows, or getting eliminated from two reality love shows. I guess, in the end, just like Shawntel Newton, it just doesn’t matter.


Welcome to!

Bachelor 16

Good luck Benji. Can we call you Benji?

Welcome to Bachelor Rant, where it’s all Bachelor, all the time. We know that slogan is cliche’, but that’s actually not our slogan. But even if it were, it’d perfectly align with how cliche’ the Bachelor always is.

Whether you love the show, the new bachelor, bachelorette, or those sickies that call themselves “singles” that bang each other on the Bachelor Pad, this blog is for you. Sort of. If you love the show, you might find some of what we say to be offensive. But if you’re laid back, you’ll just flat-out agree with our take on each show, the bachelor/bachelorette at hand, and especially the people trying to win their respective hearts.

This blog starts with the 16th season of Bachelor, as Ben Flajnik returns to be the main dude that endures 25 gorgeous crazies in an attempt to find true love when the show comes to an end.

We’ll join him on his journey, and as soon as it’s over, we’ll look ahead to the Bachelorette and the Bachelor Pad, because we know where these shows are, drama, crazy, and hilarity ensue.

But before we dive into what happened in episode one of Bachelor 16, let’s take a look at our buddy Ben’s heart-breaking good-bye in the last season of the Bachelorette, when Ashlee chose J.P. over our favorite wine expert:

That bitch.